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🎉Life Quotes🥳
"He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap."Ah," he said. "Must deactivate the security....Turn around, please.""What?""Turn around, Claire. It's a secure password!""You have GOT to be kidding.""Why ever would I joke about that? Please turn."
claire-danvers, funny, ghost-town, humor, morganville-vampires, myrnin, rachel-caine, vampire, vampires
"The inhabitants of the earth are of two sorts: those with brains, but no religion, and those with religion, but no brains."
atheism, brains, earth, humans, humor, intelligence, world
"The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners."
funny, humor, ideas, random
"If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork."
humor, rick-riordan
"Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy."
carter-kane, humor, kane-chronicles
"Bitten? You mean you're a-""A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister."
asshole, clary-fray, humor, jace-wayland, maia, simon-lewis
"I swear that woman had a previous career as a death-hunter selling tragic ballads down around the Seven Dials," said Will. "And I do wish she wouldn't sing about poisoning just after we've eaten."
humor
"Men are all the same, they think that because they came out of the belly of a woman they know all there is to know about women."
humor